Langdon's Devotional

 "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!" Psalm 34:8 (ESV) I take refuge in Christians more than I take refuge in Christ. It's hard not to, I think all of us want to run to loving arms when we're messed up, because it's easy, and it gives us that gratification we're desperate for at times. We can end up creating more hurt when we do that. It's left me with me with scars, but I think that sets the Lord up to get a lot more accomplished in me than He would if I were living carelessly. I'm living in a very pivotal season of my own life – a time where I make a lot of decisions and form a lot of habits that I'll carry with me during the most difficult times of my adult life. Dishonesty and betrayal lead to questions with no answers, and a breached heart searches frantically to be refilled – but it's not like I'm dying. Sure my heart might be slower to heal than I might expect, but life is filled wit...

Our prayers are a call, and we miss out on God's work when we're not patient enough to look for the response. Praying always feels like it has to have structure to me. And I think there's a right way to pray, but I'm not sure that there's really a wrong way to pray. Collective prayers are different, obviously. If you pray over someone or with someone, it's important that those people can reflect on that with you. But I think most of our prayers are individual, and still, it can feel challenging. I think it's possible that it doesn't feel that way because we're "bad" at praying, but because for us, the prayer stops once we open our eyes. A lot of us are just guilty of not looking for the answer. Or rather, not being patient enough to wait very long while we look for the answer. I don't think we're necessarily underestimating what God is capable of, but I think we have a hard time sitting in our faith of the Lord for a long period of...

grief /ɡrēf/ noun the anguish experienced as a result of a significant loss. Defining Grief Grief, by a more psychological standpoint, is the anguish experienced as a result of a significant loss . We attribute grief mostly to the death of a loved one. That's generally gonna be the source of the heaviest form of grief, but loss doesn't always mean death.  Let's break that definition down into the three defining parts. Anguish refers to severe mental pain or suffering. Pain is a pretty complicated concept on it's own, and you can refer to my series on pain to understand more about what it can tell us about our mental/emotional wounds. In short though, a good question to ask then, is when we feel all of the emotions that come with grief – which emotions are honest emotions? The word significant implies that it's had an impact on us – life looks different after we've lost the object of our grief. This is something that I'll go into more later. In short, ...

   "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3 (ESV) Preface This is part of a series of posts on the nature of emotional pain, what it can reveal about our hearts and minds, and the purpose it has in our walk with Christ. If you want the full context, start from the  beginning . Restoration It's taken me a while to finish up with this one, as you can tell. That's partly because I've been working on some other drafts that just don't look the way I want them to yet. But it's mainly because I've been struggling to find a way to conclude this in a way that feels satisfying, but genuine. I think what I'm struggling with is that I want to end it in a really positive light, but if I only did that, I think I'd be minimizing how impactful emotional wounds can be in our lives. In Jeremiah 30, the Lord promises to Jeremiah that He will restore Jerusalem, as it's in the process of being destroyed by the Babylonians. The same is...

 "For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too."  2 Corinthians 1:5 (ESV) Preface This is part of a series of posts on the nature of emotional pain, what it can reveal about our hearts and minds, and the purpose it has in our walk with Christ. If you want the full context, start from the beginning . Living with Pain Unfortunately, even though we can have a better understanding of what pain tells us, it doesn't necessarily make pain easy to deal with. Pain is, by definition, difficult to tolerate. I ignorantly wish that having Christian wisdom meant killing pain, but the unfortunate truth is that we can only learn how to divert pain to turn it into growth. We can't really prevent ourselves from feeling what's meant to be a reminder of sin. Could we eliminate it completely, we would have to be living in a world free from sin. Our flesh battles with our spirit – a lifelong battle that is the source of all...

"... but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope ..."  Romans 5:3-4 (ESV)   Preface This is part of a series of posts on the nature of emotional pain, what it can reveal about our hearts and minds, and the purpose it has in our walk with Christ. If you haven't read the first part , I'd suggest checking that one out first for the full context. Or don't. I won't stop you. Pain is an Indicator Think of emotional pain as the numbers on a meter that gauges the status or condition of our spirit. Emotional pain is not the problem itself. It's a symptom of the problem. When we get a physical wound, usually the first thing that comes to mind is the pain. That's how we know there's a problem and how bad it is. But oftentimes we misjudge what the actual issue is. Dr. Priolo gave two great examples . Let's say you wake up in the middle of the night, from the best...

"Jonah went out of the city and sat to the east of the city and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, till he should see what would become of the city. Now the Lord God appointed a plant and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be a shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort. So Jonah was exceedingly glad because of the plant. But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered. When the sun rose, God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint. And he asked that he might die and said, 'It is better for me to die than to live.' But God said to Jonah, 'Do you do well to be angry for the plant?' And he said, 'Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.' " Jonah 4:5-9 (ESV)   God's judgement is not built around our comfort, and His mercy takes many forms. I love the story of Jonah. I'm surprised that I ...

 "For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish." Jeremiah 31:25 (ESV) Weariness is the constant side effect of God's work in our hearts and minds. Real growth is often followed by exhaustion. Allow yourself to feel it, without dwelling in it. Nothing worth having comes at a cheap price. Even when we allow God to work within us, it can be really straining. Just like we grow physically weary, so do our spirits. The Bible tells us not to grow weary, but in the same way that we're commanded not to grow fainthearted and not to fear. Instead of implying that we're actively betraying Him by doing so, God is making a command to encourage us. We'll always grow tired from His work in our hearts; correction exhausts us. But Proverbs 3 shows us that He stretches the souls of those He loves. Reproof is a gift. He uses correction to make us better – to make us disciplined. Even in this verse, God is making a promise to restore the people of...

 "yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength." Habakkuk 3:18-19 (ESV) A saving faith comes with accepting God's answers, but it also comes with waiting for those answers. I wonder how long the time difference is between Habakkuk 2 and 3. I wanted to wait a bit to close this one out to emphasize the potential space between the two chapters – between answer and acceptance. That's why. Definitely not because I just didn't feel like finishing Habakkuk until now. Genuinely though, it's hard to tell just how long Habakkuk had sat with the Lord's answer, or how long he waited for it to happen. Waiting any longer than a few weeks sounds like ages to us now, but during these times, people waited years for things. The Babylonian invasion of Judah happened shortly after it was prophesied, but it could have taken years for Habakkuk to see the full plan for Judah – and even then, he knew that the answer was...

 “ ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” ‭‭ 1 Peter‬ ‭5‬:‭5‬-‭10‬ ‭(NIV‬‬) Humility is difficult to practice sincerely. But staying centered gives us the right perspective. Such a long passage this time. The NIV translation, too – crazy. To be completely honest, I’ve been fairly bitter with the Lord lately. It’s only natural – we’re broken people, with sinful pride that gets to us one...

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20 (ESV) Our life in the flesh, just like our spirit, is not our own. I like these verses that give us our identity. It isn't there much in the Old Testament – even though it was acknowledged that man was made in God's image, the concept of finding your identity within  God probably felt wrong. At that point, nothing bridged that gap between the Creator/Administrator of the universe and the creation that willingly turned its back on Him. Once the only one that could call Himself fully man and fully God had sacrificed Himself to save them from the sin that they brought into the world, there was One to identify with and not just a law to follow. As Christ gave up His body to take on the entirety of God's wrath, we now have the option to join Him in salvat...

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory." Colossians 3:1-4 (ESV) Our personal pursuits are only as valid as who they're really in pursuit of. Revisiting this one in the spirit of a new understanding. It gets really easy to fall into the habit of living our lives for ourselves, even if under the pretense that we're "living for ourselves, for Christ." There's no such thing. I become angry with God when He takes away something from me that brings me happiness, which is evidence that I lost sight of what I'm after. What's our end goal here? Let's use prosperity gospel as an example to highlight how we answer that question often times. Practicing th...

 "It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes." Psalm 119:71 (ESV) Affliction puts us in a posture to see more of God's character and instruction. I can only remember a few times in my life when I felt completely drawn to the Gospel, as if it were something I needed not just spiritually, but mentally and emotionally. It's only really been when I was genuinely struggling, wrestling with God's will for my life when it's felt like something I physically needed to survive. The best way I can describe it is that it feels like a craving, or thirst – going back to it feels like total relief. Obviously I wish it didn't work that way – I wish it felt that way all the time. We should go back to it like we need it, even when we don't feel like we need it, because we do. Just because we don't have an appetite doesn't mean we don't need to eat, and just because we don't have a headache yet doesn't mean we shouldn...

 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction." Proverbs 1:7 (ESV) True wisdom comes from following the Lord's instruction, not from trying to co-create a plan with Him. Proverbs is a collection of writings meant to act as an instruction to living faithfully for Jewish youth at the time. While Solomon is believed to have been the primary author of these, it's likely that they were meant to be directed towards his own son Rehoboam (1:8). Regardless of whether they were written directly to him or if they had a more broad purpose to educate young men as a whole, what we know for sure is that they provide a strong foundation for living a life filled with wisdom, authored by the wisest man that only lived once. I've been doing a lot of searching for wisdom, because I think I really struggle with life not being a simple equation. I do good, I receive good. I give love, I receive love. I give effort, I receive effort. That...

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." James 1:5-8 (ESV) Faith in God requires trust in God – and that requires us to shift our focus from our pain and judgement. I included the word trust intentionally, instead of the word faith . I want to dissect the concept of faith a bit more, as it pertains to someone's relationship with the Lord. See, we all try hard to have faith that Jesus died for our sins, and that we've been saved from the consequences of them. That's step one, as far as being a Christian goes. But our faith in the Lord should go even deeper than that – we should have faith in who God is, which goes hand-in-hand wi...

  "Look among the nations , and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told." Habakkuk 1:5 (ESV)   A friend of mine told me to read through Habakkuk when studying through the subject of grief. And I'll start by saying – part of me feels so frustrated when I get recommended a book of one of the prophets. I see their struggles, and I hear their pain – I'm not delusional enough not to see that they deal with much bigger problems than I do. But they get to hear God in the way that we all wish we could! What I wouldn't give to find a letter from God himself in 3-5 business days, detailing exactly what He was doing – or at least that He was doing something . But there's a bit of comfort that comes with knowing that what you want wouldn't solve everything. The truth is, I don't feel as validated when I see prayers in the Bible that were immediately answered. They show God's mercy just as much, but I ...

 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might" Ephesians 6:10 (ESV) We don't need to be strong, just to let God be strong for us. A common theme in the Gospel is less us, more Him. So if it feels like almost every one of these posts is pushing that, that's just because it's that important and hard to follow through with. Yes, our culture often brings us down and yes, it also promotes "hyping ourselves up" as the solution. Most everyone who might read this has been through that cycle enough to understand that it really only makes the problem worse. "Man = Sin = Bad" is such an important thing to understand, especially when talking about misconceptions about our relationship with Christ and false Christianity. My thoughts on the Gospel boil down to that most of the time, since it's the "theme" of the story of Man's creation, and therefore a lot of my own personal ministry is built on it. But the takeaway fro...

   "Behold, blessed is the one whom God reproves; therefore despise not the discipline of the Almighty. For He wounds, but He binds up; He shatters, but His hands heal." Job 5:17-18 (ESV) It's not inherent of pain to make sense to us, but it’s inherent of pain to bring us back to God. Preaching on how the Lord uses pain to build us up can feel easy when we reflect back on how He's done it in the past. Talking about it during the process of healing can feel impossible. Especially with wounds still fresh, and especially when that cut isn't clean. Pain always hurts, but sometimes it feels deserved, or even necessary...  Sometimes, it doesn't.  Sometimes, a painful experience is awkward. Sometimes, a painful experience also involves something we've done ourselves and regret. Sometimes, a painful experience is a loss that comes out of nowhere, maybe even the loss of something that looked only like a blessing from God. Even a memory of something that made us hap...

"For there is a time and a way for everything, although a man's trouble lies heavy on him. For he does not know what is to be, for who can tell him how it will be?" Ecclesiastes 8:6-7 (ESV)   Wisdom prepares us for what lies ahead - but it could never give us the ability predict it, let alone control it. Giving my life to Christ was the greatest decision that I've ever made. Trusting in Him is the most difficult decision that I've continued to make everyday following. I struggle with not knowing what's next, which is at the foundation of trust. I need to have a plan, and when my plan inevitably falls apart, I make a new one. The truth is, I feel like I need control, unless I'm happy. But no one's happy always, and control has never been ours to own. Sometimes "bad" things happen, and that's as simple of an explanation as we're gonna get. It might not be because of anything we did wrong, but we have to accept that they happened, becaus...

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 (ESV) Reflecting on this passage, I want to share some more recent personal experiences, and how I've felt growth lately. I've been traveling a lot lately, to visit friends in Atlanta, friends in Athens, family in North Carolina, and for work in Florida. And normally when I'm busier, it's easier for me to stay in touch with and faithful to the Lord. But I'm realizing that when I get out of a routine, it makes it a lot more difficult to stay disciplined in general. That doesn't just apply to my walk with Christ, but in a more real sense, everything has to do with my walk with Christ. I like having plans (which is probably why I'm so impatient with God's timing), so I struggle to stay as firm with my values when I need to make up my plans as I go – i.e. traveling. When I was visiting family though, I had an exper...