Jeremiah 17:9-10 – Pain Part 1 – Types of Deceitful Pain
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? 'I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.' "
Jeremiah 17:9-10 (ESV)
Introduction
Going to start a series of posts that look a little different than my usual format. I recently listened to a sermon by Dr. Lou Priolo – a wise man to some of my friends, a Godly man in my church, and a friend of my grandad, who remembers him fondly. Though he went to be with the Lord recently, he's remembered by many as being very wise not only in Scripture, but in his understanding of our psychological habits from a Christian perspective. The sermon that I listened to was the first in a series about "thinking like a Christian," and how we can better understand some common thought patterns and habits. During his sermon, he talked about emotional wounds, and drew some parallels between them and physical wounds. It motivated me to seek out more wisdom on the nature of pain itself, and a purpose it has in our walk with Christ. For this first part, I'm exploring some of the similarities that Dr. Priolo explained, and some conclusions I've drawn myself – from this sermon and other Christian resources I'm studying, but ultimately – from Scripture. I'm trying to be very careful not to stray from Biblical wisdom just because I'm using it to explore human psychology. But to an extent, I'll be learning as I go – so I welcome any objections that readers might have on things I could be overlooking or reaching on.
Types of Deceitful Pain
Emotional pain is something that comes from what we'd consider a negative emotion. Physically, we have different kinds of pain – stinging pain, sharp pain, burning pain, aching pain, etc. I think that emotional pain works in the same way. Anxiety, fear, anger, loneliness, despair, rejection, and jealousy all derive from different kinds of pain that we might feel from our emotional wounds. The kind of pain that we're feeling can help us get an idea of where in our heart the problem is, but it's not always that simple.
Think of it like feeling a sharp pain, vs an aching pain. A sharp pain might tell us that we've been cut or punctured somewhere. Aches might indicate something internal, like a bruise or even muscle soreness. In the same way, anxiety could indicate that we want to protect ourselves from something that's hurt us before. Anger could indicate self-pride. Jealousy could indicate that we have some insecurity that's been exposed.
Note that I'm being very careful by saying that these things could indicate something, because we know that emotions aren't that simple, and the heart is hopelessly deceitful. So we're working under the assumption that our emotions are lying to us in these cases. Sometimes, our emotions tell us the truth – we feel fear when something genuinely threatens our safety or well-being. We feel guilt when we've sinned against ourselves or someone else. As Dr. Priolo said in his sermon, there's even a valid form of jealousy, when we have a genuine concern that someone rejects us in pursuit of something that will clearly hurt them. But in those cases, the source of our pain is easier to identify, and the solution is outside of us, not inside. Determining whether or not what we feel are "honest emotions" is a different battle in and of itself. But even lies, though they don't tell the truth, can still tell us a truth, indirectly. For now, assume we've already determined that the pain we're feeling in this case is not from God, but from sin.
Understanding what kind of emotional pain we have helps us get an idea of what kind of wound we're trying to heal, and that tells us how to treat it. Not only that, but when it turns into a pattern, we have the opportunity to really learn something about ourselves. That sounds stupid-obvious, but I can't tell you how many times I've tried to navigate heartbreaks that gave me burns, cuts, and bruises all at once. Pick out the thing that's causing the most damage – whether to you or to others – and focus on healing that first. Because most of the time, we're susceptible to one kind of pain (coming from the same wound), more than others. Some people struggle more with jealousy – there's a treatment for that. Some struggle with anger – there's a treatment for that. I myself probably struggle the most with loneliness, even though I, like most people, am still very familiar with other types of emotional pain. But there is a treatment for every single one.
A treatment – not a cure. Our hearts are "desperately sick" and built to house sin. God intentionally created us with the capability to be influenced by sin and turn from Him. That's what it means to have free will. If we could simply cure our hearts, sanitizing them of sin, there would have been no purpose for the Cross; we would be completely self-sufficient and have no holy dependence. So what the Lord gives us isn't a cure in that sense – only a treatment for the symptoms of our wounds, so that we can better carry out His will. Ultimately, He is the cure – we're just not at that point of being "cured" yet. Authentic treatment of emotional pain will, in one way or another, come from the spiritual resources (and time) we get from the Lord. But first, we should think through what to do with those resources.