Note of Thankfulness

 "For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day."

2 Corinthians 4:15-16 (ESV)


I just wanted to use this post to be glad. I don't always feel it, but I'm so blessed to belong to Him. I know that a lot of what I write can be all about struggle, and it's true – there's a lot of sin in the world. God's grace is so much greater. 

You'll notice that I actually started this blog back up in February. I had experienced feelings of rejection that, for whatever reason, were immediately followed by complete hope. I didn't understand it at the time, and I don't understand it still, but I felt so at peace – not necessarily peace with what I could see God doing, but peace in the confidence I had of who God was, is, and will continue to be. It's the closest I've ever felt to God, and it's the most undeserving I've ever felt of His mercy.

There are so many things that we could never understand about God. He is so good to those that don't deserve it. I worship a God that would create me, with perfect intention and care – to the most minute detail. More than that, He would place me into a household that was built on His Word. More than that, He would give me a full and loving family. More than that, He would give me the ability and opportunities to love others. More than that, He would forgive me when I sinned against Him once. And again. And again. And as many times after that as He has to. More than that, He would be born in human form, and experience all of the misery, pressure, and isolation that sin brings. More than that, He would live a life devoid of the worldly pleasures and comforts that I indulge in just to pursue happiness. More than that, He would sacrifice Himself – sacrifice His only Son – to save me from the consequences of the sin that I would turn towards. The same sin that destroys me, that I reject Him for — He has to redirect me so much from obsessions that I choose over Him. He sacrificed Himself for that. More than that, He would do it again. Always more than that.

I don't think we really understand the kind of love that God has for us. We're not capable of understanding it. The most true and genuine love that we'll ever feel in our lifetime will still be a cheap imitation – a subtle glance at the Lord's blinding and reckless adoration. God has no obligation to do anything – let alone suffer for my sake. He suffered for me. He knew my name when He did what He did. He saw every sin I'd ever commit. To suffer more than I could imagine experiencing. No comfort. No real companionship. No room for error. To apply all the restrictions that man's flesh has, yet shouldering the burden that only the Savior of all mankind could accept.

I'm so flawed. So hopeless. I have nothing to offer someone like that, so why would He do that?

What kind of love is this?

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